Struggling Through Forgiveness

Transcript

Welcome to Faith Talk. I’m Rev. Jay Stuart Glover and today, I want to briefly explore the sensitive and complex topic of forgiveness.

Forgiveness is a cornerstone of the Christian faith. In Colossians 3:13, we’re reminded, "Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." These words challenge us to consider our capacity to forgive, both in extending forgiveness to others and receiving it for ourselves.

But forgiveness isn’t always easy, is it? Forgiveness has been described as a deliberate process, where a person chooses to release resentment and other negative emotions after being hurt. It’s also seen as a divine act of grace—a reflection of how God forgives us for our sins. This dual nature of forgiveness, both human and divine, gives it tremendous significance.

Let’s talk about the personal impact. Authentic forgiveness can be good for the mind, body, and spirit. Research shows that when we forgive, we often experience lower levels of depression, anxiety, and hostility. When we let go of resentment, we free ourselves from the corrosive effects of bitterness and anger, making space for positive emotions like compassion and peace. When we hold on to unforgiveness, it eats away at our well-being—emotionally, mentally, and even physically.

The question becomes: How are we challenged by the concept of forgiveness, and what stands in our way when we try to forgive?

Forgiveness, while often preached as a moral or spiritual virtue, is a deeply emotional process. It is not a simple decision to release anger or pain, especially when we’ve been deeply wounded. Forgiveness asks us to confront the full weight of our feelings—whether it’s anger, disappointment, or betrayal. Sometimes, we even carry the trauma of these emotions in our bodies, making the process of forgiveness that much harder.

For many people, especially those who’ve suffered abuse, betrayal, or public humiliation, forgiveness can feel impossible. The pain is real, and the idea of “letting go” seems out of reach. This is compounded by the pressure we often feel from society or even our faith communities, that we must forgive quickly or unconditionally. But forgiveness is not something that can be rushed, and it’s not always as straightforward as we would like it to be.

One of the hardest types of forgiveness is self-forgiveness. For many, the most difficult person to forgive is ourselves. Whether it’s mistakes we’ve made, failures in our relationships, or things we regret, the internal dialogue of guilt and shame can feel louder than any external judgment. Self-forgiveness means confronting our imperfections and recognizing that we are still worthy of grace, despite our shortcomings.

I’ve met many Bible carrying, scripture quoting Christians who struggle with accepting God’s forgiveness. They carry there bibles but also carry their sins like a burden, unable to release themselves from guilt and shame, even though God has already offered forgiveness. They unknowingly resist God’s compassion and turn away from His outstretched hand. We all mess up, but it’s a dangerous game when we fail to embrace God’s forgiveness for ourselves.

Now, don’t get me wrong—I’m not handing out licenses to sin. But sometimes, we linger too long in sorrow and self-condemnation. We get stuck in our imperfections and forget about God’s grace. Yes, we must recognize our sin and confess it, but wallowing in guilt without moving toward repentance and forgiveness is a form of worldly sorrow that leaves us spiritually unhealthy.

Why is that? Because in those moments of lingering sorrow, the enemy of your soul—the father of lies—steps in. He seizes the opportunity to whisper deceit into your heart, convincing you that you’re unworthy, a fraud, or that you’ve somehow fallen beyond God’s reach. Don’t let him take you to a place of despair and spiritual desolation. God’s forgiveness is already yours—don’t reject it by refusing to forgive yourself.

If you’re struggling with unforgiveness today, remember that forgiveness is often a gradual process. It’s not something that happens overnight. You may forgive in stages, slowly letting go of pain and resentment as you work through your emotions. That journey can require prayer, reflection, or even therapy to help navigate the complicated feelings surrounding forgiveness.

Here are a few practical approaches to help overcome psychological barriers to forgiveness:

- Therapy: Professional counseling can offer support in overcoming the emotional hurdles to forgiveness.

- Spiritual Practices: Prayer and meditation can create the space for releasing the burden of unforgiveness and seeking God’s peace. Spiritual direction or pastoral counseling can also be incredibly helpful.

- Journaling: Writing down your thoughts and emotions about forgiveness can allow you to process your pain and work toward emotional healing over time.

The path to forgiveness is personal and unique. It may take weeks, months, or even years to fully forgive, and that’s okay. Don’t rush the process. With time, prayer, and support, forgiveness can bring deep healing—for both the person offering it and the person receiving it.

As we conclude, be reminded of the promises of Scripture:

- In Colossians 1:14, “We have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.”

- In Isaiah 43:25, God declares, “I, even I, am He who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more.”

- And in 1st John 1:9, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”

Jesus has already asked God to forgive us—there’s no need to remain stuck in sorrow. Instead, let us turn to repentance, faith, and grace. As believers, we are called to embrace God’s forgiveness for ourselves and extend it to others.

I’m Rev. Jay Stuart Glover, and this has been Faith Talk. You can find this and other episodes on iTunes, Spotify, Amazon, YouTube, and many other podcast platforms. Thank you for joining me today. Until next time, may God bless you and keep you in His grace.